#Ruina #Free Game Until It Breaks - Fukamoto Kedama's Novel - pixiv
1#
The room I rented at the Skylark Pavilion has poor sunlight.
However, this is where I keep my grimoire, and I am quite sensitive to sunlight, so the lack of it suits me well.
As I gazed at the gradually brightening orange sky, I couldn't help but think.
— Recently, I haven't been able to talk to Shifon.
That delinquent sorcerer with vibrant hair like the evening glow and red eyes resembling mine is an extremely competitive guy. Perhaps due to his insatiable pursuit of power and knowledge, he often gets into arguments with others.
He seems like a twisted person with no redeeming qualities, yet for some reason, he attracts me.
It's interesting to spar with him, and discussing magic freely is enjoyable. Occasionally teasing him elicits amusing reactions, and his shy demeanor is quite cute. These are some of the reasons he draws me in.
I admire, envy, feel humiliated, yearn for, and experience joy and sorrow; I love all of Shifon's expressions.
I long to hear more of Shifon's words. I want to know everything about him as much as possible.
So, I stand by his side as his rival. Although if it becomes troublesome, I could easily flatter him to make him happy or simply defeat him completely.
But I don't do that, because I like Shifon.
The pile of books in the corner of the room suddenly collapsed, sending dust swirling into the air.
I watched the dust dancing in the faint orange sunlight and suddenly remembered that I hadn't read my grimoire much lately.
After sparring with Shifon and discussing (or rather arguing about) magic, reading and studying magic has become a routine. I, who am not particularly obsessed with power, might not even touch the grimoire if it weren't for Shifon.
My obsession with Shifon seems as strong as his obsession with my (power). It’s only now that I realize this, I thought self-deprecatingly.
Although I want to talk to him, it probably won't happen.
That guy, for some reason, has become another host of Didos—Garcias.
Although Shifon was shocked by Garcias's complete lack of magical talent, he seemed somewhat pleased while accompanying him in training.
Compared to when he is with me, Shifon looks happier now.
The space trembled, and several books from the pile exploded. The continuous sound of explosions made me realize that my magical power had gone out of control.
I hurriedly focused my mind, and the explosions quickly subsided.
The remnants of the grimoire lay scattered on the damp floor. Although this time it was just the books that exploded, if my rampaging magic were directed at a person, the consequences would be unimaginable. For a magician with immense magical power, being unable to effectively control one's mind is fatal.
My master once said that in such situations, it's best to change one's mood.
So, I put on my coat, went downstairs, and stepped outside.
Amidst the noise of the tavern, as soon as I stepped outside, the cold air pierced my body.
I quickly walked through the residential area, amidst the winter wind and the dance of fallen leaves.
A father and son shopping for dinner passed by me.
The cold air should have been enough to cool my head, but it was futile in front of the orange sky. The same color as that guy ruthlessly burned my eyes and brain.
Bright and beautiful, yet a detestable color.
"Shifon, thank you again today."
Hearing the familiar name and voice, I immediately hid in the shadows. Glancing at the situation, sure enough, Garcias and Shifon were together.
Seeing Garcias laughing with white hair like mine, I realized a calm resentment was surging within me.
"I, the great one, am accompanying you in training, so be grateful."
"Haha, I'm very grateful. Speaking of gratitude, are you coming to my house today?"
"… What’s on the menu today?"
"Yesterday was chocolate pie… today we can make pumpkin pie. By the way, aren’t you interested in anything other than desserts?"
"Well, I guess meals are okay too?"
"Really? Then my effort in learning to cook is worth it."
"It's troublesome to go back, so I’ll stay over at your place. Do you mind?"
"Not at all. How about we just live together?"
"… Hmm, I’ll think about it."
In the harmonious atmosphere, the two headed into the city.
This is a kind of exchange that is absolutely impossible between Shifon and me.
In terms of magic, Garcias has no room for involvement at all. The only person who can spar and discuss with Shifon is me. However, due to the overlap of our domains, our exchanges often resemble a continuation of arguments. Even if I acted like Garcias, Shifon wouldn't become that open. I have already experienced this in previous exchanges.
— Ah, why is that?
Why is it someone like Garcias, who has no magical talent and is just a muscle-headed fool?
The rising resentment merged with my magical power. The howling wind stole away my body heat.
The feeling that surged from deep within me didn't even have time to take shape before it tore through the air and exploded.
— Why am I left behind?
"Whoa!?"
A surprised voice reached my ears, snapping me back to reality.
My attack didn't hit Shifon but was blocked by Garcias.
His proud defense was meaningless in the face of magic; Garcias staggered, and the blood he spat out stained the ground.
Deservedly so. This thought, which normally wouldn't appear in my mind, naturally surfaced, but I wasn't too surprised.
Shifon, who was protected, stood there dumbfounded, but soon noticed me and glared sharply.
Contrary to what I expected, thinking a battle would ensue, Shifon immediately turned away.
"Hey, are you okay!? Don't just casually block attacks like that!"
"Cough cough… I'm fine, I won't go down easily."
Garcias wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth with a bitter smile, turned to me, and placed his hand on the sword at his waist. Although he was on guard, he didn't seem to have any intention of initiating a fight, at least not before drawing his sword.
Shifon began chanting a healing spell behind Garcias. The wound quickly healed, and Shifon took a step forward.
"What do you want?"
Usually, he would eagerly seek me out for a fight, but it seems different when it involves Garcias.
The cold voice pierced me. I smiled and casually told a lie.
"How about a fight?"
"Are you here to pick a fight with me?"
"Well, more or less. Just keep me company for a while."
"I'm not in the mood. Besides, you shouldn't provoke me when Garcias is around."
Indeed, Shifon was right.
For us, an attack meant just a casual greeting, but for someone without magical talent, it was a terrifying weapon.
If there’s no intent to kill, one shouldn't launch an attack in the presence of such a person.
However, saying I came to provoke him was a complete lie. In reality, it was just an uncontrollable emotional outburst.
In any case, Shifon's natural concern for Garcias was extremely irritating to me.
In the situation just now, Shifon prioritized healing Garcias over confronting me. For the usually hot-tempered Shifon, this was a very rare action. It could only mean he cares deeply for Garcias.
I suppressed the impulse rising within me and sneered.
"Sorry. After all, as someone who has been guided by Shifon, I thought you’d have a stronger resistance. If you lack even this bit of talent, you might as well not touch magic. Once you lose control, not only you but even your 'friends' could get hurt… or even die."
As I spoke, I shifted my gaze to Shifon. No, I didn't want to do this.
I just wanted to be with Shifon.
So, that muscle-headed fool being around Shifon was extremely irritating to me.
Even though my feelings were that simple, the unwarranted sarcasm slipped out. Perhaps Shifon's twisted personality had infected me, leading me to such absurd thoughts. But I still maintained a mocking expression.
"Hey, hey…"
"Don't mind him."
Garcias, who was flustered and wanted to scold me, was stopped by Shifon. It seemed Garcias had also heard about the past from Shifon.
The hot-tempered, twisted, and willful Shifon. It was enough for only me to know his background.
He had no idea that my heart was consumed by a maddening possessiveness, and he silently turned away.
"You're so foolish. Let's go, Garcias."
"Huh!? Wait, is that okay?"
"It doesn't matter, I'm hungry."
"Ah, ah… Sorry, Aberion, we're heading back."
As Shifon pulled Garcias away from me, he didn't look back.
Left alone under the darkening sky, I bit my lip.
Shifon no longer looked at me. Ignoring my provocation was the best evidence.
"Why, ah."
The sorrowful whisper melted away in the deep blue-purple dusk.
2#
My head hurts.
This relatively bright empty house in the forest was initially very dilapidated.
Seeing unknown dark things lurking densely, it was easy to guess that the previous owner had abandoned this place.
Thus, I chose this location as a storage place for my increasingly numerous grimoires.
I thoroughly eliminated the creatures gathered here, then did a regular cleaning, arranging the magic books on the prepared shelves—treating it as a home that no one knows about.
The room was exceptionally dark; was it because of the night? My eyes had already adapted to the darkness, so I could clearly see the surroundings.
The windows, which had been wiped clean, were now shattered, and the curtains were torn. The scattered glass shards and remnants of furniture crunched underfoot, producing a crisp and pleasant sound.
"Shifon."
I tried to calmly call his name, and the guy leaning against the wall, panting, glared at me.
His bright orange eyes sparkled. Despite being covered in blood, Shifon didn't drop his wand.
And I stood unharmed before the west wind.
"Are you okay?"
As I spoke, I slowly approached. The light of the crescent moon fell softly and gently, illuminating the suffering and gasping Shifon.
Perhaps due to an unprecedented surge of magical power, I was tormented by a severe headache and dizziness. However, my heart was immensely satisfied, so I could barely manage a smile.
"… Damn it, don’t underestimate me!"
Shifon struggled to stand, and I shot an arrow woven with magic into his abdomen, stopping him.
I knew this was too harsh, but this stubborn guy wouldn't give up unless he suffered pain.
"Ugh, ha…"
"Don't push yourself."
I supported the swaying Shifon. For a man, his body was too slender.
Even if he became shattered, he was still a precious treasure to me.
I hopelessly liked the competitive and awkward Shifon.
Yet, I had hurt him like this.
Beyond the usual sparring (or rather arguing), I had caused him such injury, but I couldn't help but care for Shifon, and I mocked myself for my contradictions.
Shifon had always been obsessed with my power.
Even after I inherited the "Book of Keys," he never gave up his greedy pursuit of knowledge and power, always sneering and declaring that one day he would defeat me.
Although he said he hated someone like me, he still acknowledged me and always regarded me as a rival.
I understood how absurd it was for me to develop romantic feelings for Shifon, but even just that was enough to make me happy.
However, Shifon no longer looked at me.
For some reason, Garcias, another host of Didos, appeared.
He said, "Our powers are very compatible," and took Shifon away. Since then, the two of them had increasingly acted together. Even after peace was restored, the situation didn't change.
Because their areas of expertise didn't overlap, they had no reason to argue. Perhaps because of this, Shifon was very open with Garcias. He seemed happier with Garcias than with me, smiling more often.
Because Garcias respected Shifon, became his shield, cooked for him, and sincerely offered him his kindness, Shifon probably fell for him.
Perhaps I was jealous of Garcias, or perhaps Shifon really hated me.
Just as I was troubled by this, I finally had the chance to drink with Shifon again. I was extremely happy.
During our casual conversation, a slightly tipsy Shifon suddenly said softly.
—I really like Garcias.
—So, unconsciously, I've become distant from you.
—But I don't dislike you that much.
While I felt relieved that I wasn't disliked, I also realized he liked Garcias. Faced with this fact, I couldn't suppress the impulse within me any longer.
Just saying I wanted to deal with the piled-up grimoires, Shifon followed me without suspicion.
As soon as I opened the door, Shifon's eyes lit up, and he began rummaging through the grimoires. Seizing the opportunity, I launched an attack.
There was no need to use overwhelming magical power against him; with just a bit of strength, Shifon was quickly pushed to this point.
"Punish my enemy with pain—"
The familiar chant pulled me back from the depths of thought. It seemed to be a spell for casting lightning. The power wasn't great, but the chant was short, and the magical consumption was low, making it suitable for creating opportunities.
Having analyzed it up to this point, I had the leeway to set up a barrier or dismantle his spell. Choosing to endure the attack was just a whim.
"I advise you not to push yourself, but you won't listen."
With a snap, the burning pain felt quite pleasant. The difference in magical power directly reflected in strength, so it wasn't much of a threat.
I smiled and tightly embraced Shifon.
It seemed that Shifon's earlier strike had exhausted all his magical power, and his wand finally slipped from his grasp. It clattered heavily to the ground.
"Damn it! Don't underestimate me…!"
"I’m not underestimating you."
"If you're going to kill me, just do it quickly!"
As I reveled in the joy of holding Shifon, he seized the chance to break free from my arm. He fell to the floor but continued to glare at me. The voice he raised in bravado trembled pitifully.
"I like you."
"… Huh?"
"I really, really like Shifon. So, please only look at me—"
"Don't joke around!"
Shifon shouted at an unbelievable volume.
"Don't get ahead of yourself; I hate you the most!"
Faced with such a clear rejection, something within me crumbled, and I realized something else had shattered.
The pitch-black impulse surging from deep within me directly transformed into magical power. I controlled the force and blasted the magic toward Shifon. He let out a painful groan and exhaled.
"…"
"You lost."
I grabbed his hair and forced his chin up with my wand. His orange pupils were filled with humiliation.
Enjoying the sensation of his slightly damaged hair, I couldn't help but smile. Perhaps only with Shifon did I have this sadistic tendency; I pondered this absurd thought.
"Do you hate me?"
"… I’ll kill you right away."
"Well, that's more like it."
Even if his feelings weren't love, as long as he only looked at me and was fixated on me, this state was enough for me.
So I tormented Shifon.
Wrapped in honey-like tenderness, I could never surpass Garcias.
"Only look at me. Pour that feeling into me. Hate me even more."
His unwavering orange gaze pierced directly at me. Faced with a twisted love that could only be described as madness, the unyielding Shifon even appeared somewhat cute.
So I discarded my wand and cupped his face. I squatted down and licked the blood from the corner of Shifon's mouth.
"… Huh!?"
A voice filled with astonishment rang out. The sharp killing intent surrounding Shifon weakened in an instant. Seizing the opportunity, I invaded his mouth with my tongue. I wouldn't mind if my tongue got bitten off.
"… Ha, huh…"
The sounds became ambiguous. Shifon's hands gripped my arm, seemingly trying to resist, but he couldn't muster any strength.
I entwined my tongue with his, licking, and Shifon's pupils became dazed with pleasure.
A sensation like coldness rapidly spread from my spine throughout my body.
I could no longer discern whose sweet gasps echoed in the air.
"… Ha, stop, hands…"
Teased by the unusually sticky voice, I felt my head was about to explode.
In the moment I judged I wouldn't continue, as our lips parted, a flash of silver light appeared. A dagger suddenly pierced my abdomen. The red seeping stained my black robe.
"… Oh, you're putting in more effort than I imagined."
Even abandoning healing, I placed my hand on Shifon's neck.
He might have expected me to show a weakness due to the pain, and Shifon looked at me in surprise.
I saw an unprecedented fear in him, and the joy and excitement in my heart were indescribable. The scars Shifon left on me throbbed.
Ignoring his instinctual pleas, I tightened my grip around Shifon's neck.
"Listen to me, Shifon."
Shifon struggled painfully, desperately trying to breathe, and I pressed him down hard, speaking.
"Whether it's hatred or intent to kill, as long as you are fixated on me."
I gradually tightened my fingers. Although I wasn't as strong as Garcias or Nilu, I had the strength of an ordinary person.
— I still had the power to strangle a weakened person.
"I'll be a bit more gentle."
So, before I love you to madness, before I completely break down.
"Fall to my side."
Having said that, I finally released my grip. Shifon had already lost consciousness.
I tightly embraced his weakened body and quietly apologized as if nothing had happened.
His pulse was still there. I sighed in relief, supporting Shifon's body with my right hand and running my left hand through his orange hair.
The color, unable to abandon hope, like a sorrowful sunset, was soaked in moonlight, shimmering.